Understanding the Emotional Impact of Bullying on Bystanders

When we consider bullying, the focus is typically on the individual doing the bullying and the person being bullied. But what about the individuals who witness the incident? Children and adolescents who see others being bullied, whether at school or online, can be deeply affected by the experience, particularly when they decide not to intervene at the time.  

“Witnessing bullying can impact students’ feelings about school, their teachers, and their peers. It may also instill a sense of fear in them,” says school counselor Ashley Bartley, MEd, NCC. “School may no longer feel like a safe place if they feel their safety has been compromised after witnessing bullying. They may become fearful or uncomfortable around students whom they’ve seen bullying others, and some may even ask for a schedule change to avoid future interactions with the person who is bullying others.” 

There is a clear connection between being a bystander to bullying and adverse effects on a person’s mental health and well-being. 

“Research suggests an association between bystanders of bullying and increased rates of feelings of helplessness and symptoms of anxiety and depression, including suicidal ideation, in middle school students,” Bartley says. “The feelings of helplessness may come from students not knowing how to respond when they see bullying happening. They may also have cognitive dissonance after not intervening, which may also contribute to increased anxious or depressive symptoms.” 

School counselors are poised to help students navigate these feelings, Bartley says, starting by providing a brave space to reflect on the experience and their thoughts and behavior.  

“We can remind them that if they see something, they can say something and reassure them that the school has protocols in place for bullying. We can help students recognize and identify bullying behavior so they know what to do, how to respond, and how they can help as a bystander. If they are feeling regret about not intervening, we can help them process what they saw and how they might react differently in the future. We can also reassure students that everyone reacts differently to trauma, pointing out common fear responses such as fight, flight, freeze, or fawn.”  

Being proactive can go a long way toward prevention. According to stopbullying.gov, when a bystander intervenes in a bullying scenario, it stops within 10 seconds 57% of the time, and there are bystanders present for 80% of these instances.  

“Students may worry about drawing negative attention to themselves or becoming the next target if they try to stand up for the individual in the moment,” Bartley continues. “They may worry that by reporting the bullying they may be called a snitch. StopBullying.gov suggests that the bystander may not know the target personally and thus be less likely to report, or they may not know the situation or what’s going on, so they are afraid to step in.” 

It’s important for school counselors to understand and recognize “the bystander effect” she says, which discourages individuals from intervening. “This is partly because they feel less personally responsible, also known as ‘diffusion of responsibility,’ Bartley says, adding that counselors can reassure students that this is common. “Students may also look at others’ lack of response and think they’ve misinterpreted the situation and don’t need to act or just assume someone else will step in to help. It’s the same reason we learn in CPR training to specifically direct someone to call 911.” 

Additionally, cyberbullying continues to be a concern now that more young people have smartphones, send texts, use social media, and participate in online games and other similar activities. The Pew Research Center has found that almost half of the teenagers in the U.S. have been bullied or harassed online.  

“In my work as a school counselor, students have shared that although they’ve seen cyberbullying occur, they are hesitant to report it because they don’t want to have their devices taken away, which would limit their access to friends and social media,” Bartley says. “School counselors can empower students to respond when they see bullying happening online, whether it’s by not engaging with the post by liking or sharing it, or by taking screenshots to report to a trusted adult, or blocking the individual. By teaching children about cyberbullying as early as in elementary school, they can begin to recognize it when they see it happening.”  

Bartley says that students’ level of comfort in talking about bullying is a key consideration when discussing the subject. 

“I avoid bringing the target and the student who has been bullying together to talk, unless they both have asked for a mediation and have agreed to it (usually because they had been good friends previously). In the same way, the bystander may also feel leery of talking about the bullying person for fear of retaliation.” 

Though some students may not be comfortable becoming involved, “classroom counseling lessons that help students discern the severity of the problem can help them understand whether the situation is something they can handle on their own, or if it’s something they need to ask for help from a trusted adult,” Bartley says.  

Role-playing to help students understand the dynamic in a bullying scenario has been helpful in her work, she says. 

“I introduce ‘the invisible line of power’ in bullying situations to my elementary and middle school students,” she says. “We act it out to show that the power in a bullying situation transfers from the person bullying to the target depending on where bystanders are physically standing in relation to the person bullying and to the targeted person. When bystanders stand closer to the person bullying, it appears that they have more power. When the bystanders stand closer to the targeted student, the target appears to have more power. It’s a powerful visual for students to see that even without speaking, bystanders can control who has the power when bullying is happening, and that a lot of the power actually belongs to the bystanders and not to the bullying person.” 

Bystanders can help support students after a bullying incident as well, Bartley says. 

“They can check on the person, offer to sit with them at lunch, and include them at recess and other activities,” Bartley says. “It’s important to create a positive environment by including others who seem lonely or left out.” 

There are many helpful resources on bullying for students, counselors, and teachers. Bartley recommends Pacer’s National Bullying Prevention Center, which offers an interactive site where students can learn how to take action and prevent bullying. She also recommends the following children’s books by Trudy Ludwig: My Secret Bully, Confessions of a Former Bully, The Invisible Boy, and Just Kidding, in addition to Erin Frankel’s Weird! Tough! Dare! series. 

For school counselors and teachers, Bartley offers her own classroom counseling lessons available at Counselor Station: 

• Recognizing and Responding to Bullying 

• Digital Citizenship, Internet Safety, & Cyberbullying Prevention 

• Size of the Problem 

Ashley Bartley, MEd, NCC, is a school counselor, author, and curriculum writer. She received her bachelor’s degree in psychology from the University of Virginia and her Master of Education in school counseling from the College of William & Mary. Bartley has published six social-emotional learning children’s books with Boys Town Press and is the creator of Counselor Station, where she develops curricula and resources for busy school counselors.  

**Opinions and thoughts expressed in NBCC Visions Newsletter articles belong to the interviewees and do not necessarily reflect the opinions or practices of NBCC and Affiliates.